220.713 Pounds
by
Susan A. Anthony
DATA CENTRE START-UP TECHNICIAN - JOEY
MCINTYRE – WORK PLACEMENT 70-GAMMA.
09:00 Day 286, Year 2035 – PLACEMENT LOG
- DAY 12
Not the way I expected my work placement
to go but hey, is there a good placement if it doesn’t lead to a job? You don’t
have to answer that. I’m just checking someone other than your phone AI is
reading my logs.
Today’s achievements:
Completed installs of cubes to locations 528-1056,
only 104,544 to go. Won’t be me who finishes this job, not at 128 a day. That’s
like 816 days plus 1 day of training per placement. 857 days, give or take. Long
day, you do the math.
Today’s opportunities for improvement:
I could be faster. I get that a lot. However,
nothing I installed has failed. The super secret liquid surrounding the boards
is removing heat faster than the superconductor chips can generate it – pretty
amazing (it’s mainly helium that takes it to a balmy 76Kelvin – I may be a
student but I’m not an idiot). The next student has to re-position a slew
of cubes from 1-527. Will slow everyone down. However, I will try and go
faster. I have a plan which I will share if my trial later today works.
#
09:15 286, 2035 – WORK PLACEMENT PARAMETERS
- DAY 12
Apologies for the late submission of my
parameters report. I am formally requesting a waiver of the automatic deduction
of 5% of grade. On the grounds of travel time to the location, lack of
supervision at work site, no handover from departing student, appalling
bathroom conditions. Please advise.
(add more detail and check grammar
before submission)
Placement provided by: Flagstaff Moon Data
Centers Corporation.
Location: Atlantic Spaceport Complex (ASC),
Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada.
As per their website, Flagstaff have
leased 25 acres from the ASC. Site is overseen by a launch crew in Alaska (website
out of date, check other sources). Flagstaff was founded in 2027 and is in
the middle of its Initial Public Offering (IPO). Mission is to build data
centres on Earth and transport them into space. Website indicates that this is
because the lease rate for Earth orbits for data centres is cost prohibitive.
Alternative option of deep sea rejected, cable still needed with usual risk
(terrorism, dragging anchors, etc.).
Data streams per cube of 5 gigabits per
second in the K U (subscript) / microwave band through laser optics to
cloud-free (irony?) Gabal El Uweinat receiver (show map intersection
of Egypt, Libya, and Sudan) from the Moon. Future plans - Mars by 2045
(assuming they secure a share of Mars orbit rights in 2040 auction).
Technology deployed with the current
launch is part of a roadmap of technologies that started with the planned pilot
launched in 2029. Post pilot went live
2031.
Data centre cylinder is above the reusable
rocket body. Nose cone recycled so holds crew quarters from a previous mission
currently used for cube storage (and my snacks). Unmanned.
(technology roadmap diagram to be
inserted – requested from Flagstaff Corporate Communications)
The technology used in the Flagstaff data
centres relies on next gen superconducting Slate chips, in a multi-layered cube
design (12x12x12 centimetres). Coolant in the cubes but also around each cube
farm (128 cubes).
Recycled component inclusion does not meet
the international standard of 62%. At 47%, it is described as ‘a valiant effort
brought about by using recycled metals, harvested from dump sites, with reduced
emphasis on recycled chips.’ Flagstaff will be fined in the future if their
aggregate use of recycled metals does not meet the standard by year 15 of the
company.
(Note for my ethics class: Does
anyone believe Flagstaff will be around in 15 years?)
#
09:15 286, 2035 - DATA CENTRE LAUNCH
MISSION CONTROL
Summary of stand-up held today, 08:45-09:00:
Flagstaff’s ownership wants to move up the
launch. Risk mitigation is the primary reason. 3 team members pointed out risk
factors are clashing (overruled). Reason stated for accelerated launch: stock
price impacting event, new Securities and Exchange Commission rules preventing
stock price manipulation through launch weather delays.
3 people left the meeting early.
Launch is a go for Day 287, 2035 – 02:00
(middle of tonight!). Project Manager recorded consensus of all remaining
meeting attendees. Plan approved.
Project lessons learned scheduled for Day
287, 2035 – 14:30. Please bring a list of what went well and where you see
opportunities for improvement.
Well done, team.
#
00:30 287, 2035 … DAY 13
Addendum to Day 12 report follows:
Fixed cubes in the 1-527 cluster. Not
strictly mine to fix but techs were clearing out areas 528-1056 and I decided
to stay out of their way and run my own diagnostics.
I re-seated 47 cubes. Yes, all the ones
listed for re-installation from the last student placement. Might be because I
brought pizza and beer – kidding.
Major process improvements were possible
because of a tool I had a buddy on the electrical engineering course craft for
me. She should get an A for that BTW, Barbara Diggle, is her name, don’t have
her student id number.
In her honour I am playing the soundtrack of
her favourite movie.
#
08:30 287, 2035 - … DAY 13
After my efforts in the night, slept in
the crew quarters on a couch strapped to the wall. Not enough time to get home
and back for the start of my shift. Been feeling nauseous. I think I fell while
sleeping. My head hurts. I feel like I’m floating, might be a concussion. Place
is pretty quiet. I hope I’m not working on a holiday again, like Christmas. Funny,
not funny.
Today’s planned activities:
1057-1841. Yep, I’m going for 784 cubes.
My primary goal is to not be replaced by a
robot. Joke! We will all be replaced by robots.
#
15:30 287, 2035 - … MISSION CONTROL
Launch mission lessons learned held today,
14:30.
Per VP of Engineering directive, please do
not use the terms autopsy, end-of-project, postmortem, or retrospective (and
especially not end-of-life or pre-unemployment – not even in private emails).
The Project Manager is responsible for the
closeout report. Please do not submit a report independent of the regular
channels. Your co-operation is appreciated.
Launched on 287, 2035 – 02:00. On time. Data
centre now in Earth orbit and will slingshot for its permanent Moon stationary orbit
in the next 12 hours as per plan filed Day 6, 2033 version 6.0.2.3 (including
errata sheet).
Flight reports one anomaly. Launch weight
was over by 220.713 pounds (100.114kg), normal 3 digits rounding rules apply. Time
to destination adjusted by +4 min 23 sec. No fuel impact is anticipated. Within
risk parameters.
Lessons learned summary follows. Top 3
only. Full report is at //https: %#@!/Secure/Project Data Centre Launch/Project
documents/Lessons Learned/2035
What went well:
1. Cost
overruns contained to 16.1%. Cost to date EUR657M. Budget will be closed out.
2. Unexpected
improvements to heat dissipation by new cooling liquid, combined with the low
temperature of space (oxygen created needs to be periodically vented into the
cylinder and out of the spacecraft). Will be close to the lower limit of
tolerance of some cube components while in flight, but will be at the mid-point
at the Moon.
3. Launch
team were able to step-up and launch earlier than planned. Well done everyone.
Opportunities for improvement:
1. Cube
installation by technicians is slow. Proposed resolution (actioned/implemented
from mid-project lessons learned): As per memo Day 273, 2035 installation will
now be completed by on-board bots during flight to the Moon and when in orbit.
2. Piloting
the data center to avoid temperature swings around the Moon. Proposed
resolution: Revisit the plan to have data centers orbit Earth on the dark side
(Engineer Olsen provided a detailed breakdown for the full report, as well as information
about current special offers on Earth orbit leases).
3. Weight
disparity at lift-off. Proposed resolution: Weights are being checked to
understand where the calculations failed. Report expected Day 288, 2035 – 09:00
(i.e. tomorrow people! Please be on time).
On behalf of the Flagstaff leadership
team, we want to thank everyone for a job well done.
Some reminders: No stock trading for at
least 7 business days – no exceptions. Please collect your project t-shirt from
the project office before end of day tomorrow. If you have any placement
students, please complete their final reports and file with their educational
institutes by Day 290, 2035 – 17:00.
#
17:30 287, 2035 … DAY 13
Shared the crew quarters with bots today. Found
some ginger chews in the first aid kit. Nausea seems to have resolved, but I
did skip eating. Head still hurts, vision impacted, bots seem to be floating
but hard to tell.
Today’s achievements:
1057-1841. 784 cubes. Score!
The Diggle tool, as I’m calling the tool Barbara
made for me, really makes all the difference. I showed it to one of the bots. The
bot has fashioned one for all the bots. So much for my, don’t get replaced by a
bot, strategy.
Today’s opportunities for improvement:
I think today was a pretty good day. I
sneaked a look at what the bots are doing and I’m not as good as their best
one, but I’m middle of the pack. I’d say that’s an argument for keeping the
placement students, even if it probably means there won’t be a job for me at
the end of this work experience.
#
17:42 287, 2035 … DAY 13
Like what the f$#% guys. I’m locked in. If
I’ve worked another holiday, I expect double time.
Can’t raise security and my cell phone
can’t get a signal.
How do I contact security? Will check back
in a few hours. Meanwhile I am going to plunder by stash of food and spend some
quality time in the zero-g toilet. I hope it’s not like this when I get a real
job.
#
19:30 287, 2035 … MISSION CONTROL
Flash EMERGENCY meeting.
Meeting called to:
1. Review
weight anomaly.
2. Discuss
concerns raised by student liaison.
Summary of meeting:
It is understood that the extra weight on
launch is human in origin.
It is further understood that a placement
student, working in the data centre prior to launch, is currently missing. The
communication to his college about the cancellation of Joey McIntyre’s
placement was not delivered in a timely fashion (the communication went out yesterday).
The student received the usual onboarding, security passes and was otherwise
completing his placement as planned.
Regrettably, it is assumed he died at
launch.
The end of project celebration is
cancelled and remaining funds will be directed to the family instead (as a
reminder, budget was closed out so no other funds are available). If anyone
would like to contribute to the collection, a QR code has been placed above the
coffee station in the general kitchen.
Next steps:
Re-program a bot to find the body of Joey
McIntyre.
IMPORTANT: All meeting attendees are
reminded that this matter is covered by Flagstaff’s confidentiality agreement. As
per section 175.2 (b), whistleblower provisions apply. Any release of
information will be an SEC Insider Trader event and will result in criminal
prosecution and immediate termination of employment.
#
01:32 288, 2035 … DAY 14
Fell asleep on the couch again. Bot woke
me and interrogated me. I told it I want to talk to security. I’m not
optimistic. I’m going back to the toilet for some peace and quiet.
#
08:00 288, 2035 … MISSION CONTROL
Special Project Start-up meeting, Joey
McIntyre Extraction/Mitigation project. Code name: Rolf.
Meeting participants signed Non-Disclosure
Agreements, notarised by corporate legal team (in attendance).
All correspondence must be logged to the
quarantine area, no exceptions. As a reminder, all correspondence, phones, data
processing units, cloud sources (personal and corporate) are subject to federal
review without prior warning. As per the terms of the Rolf special project
payments, this restriction will apply in perpetuity. Any paper notes must be placed
in the bins provided at the end of each shift.
Planned next steps:
1. Seek
secondary confirmation Joey is alive.
2. Do
not vent any residual oxygen.
3. Prepare
a communication for college and family (no reference to data center launch at
this stage).
4. Assemble
an options team.
Daily stand-up, 09:00-09:40.
Please do not book adjacent meetings as
stand-ups may run long.
#
17:30 288, 2035 … DAY 14
Until I am told otherwise, I am installing
cubes. I’m still not hungry, but at least my head no longer hurts.
Installed 1024 cubes today. I am
officially the fastest installer.
#
09:00 289, 2035 … MISSION CONTROL
Project Rolf. Stand-up.
No sign of Joey.
Bot is being modified to open the toilet
door. Search expected to be completed overnight.
17:30 289, 2035 … DAY 15
Installed 2056 cubes today.
#
09:00 290, 2035 … MISSION CONTROL
Project Rolf. Stand-up.
Joey has been found in the toilet. Deceased.
The bot that first found Joey on the couch
is no longer responding to instructions. The ‘toilet search’ bot is being
programmed to investigate.
#
17:30 290, 2035 … DAY 16
Installed 4112 cubes.
#
09:00 291, 2035 … MISSION CONTROL
Project Rolf. Stand-up.
Two bots are not responding to
instruction. Two more are being re-programmed to provide enhanced audio feed.
#
17:30 291, 2035 … DAY 17
8224 cubes.
#
09:00 292, 2035 … MISSION CONTROL
Project Rolf. Stand-up.
The bots have all gone offline. Before
they went offline, they transmitted what has now been independently verified as
the movie soundtrack of The Sound of Music.
A team member requested change of project
code name. All agreed Carl was a suitable alternative. Please adjust project
documentation.
#
17:30 292, 2035 … DAY 18
Downloaded The Sound of Music movie. Nazis
really are unnecessarily unpleasant, especially the young one, Rolf.
#
09:00 293, 2035 … MISSION CONTROL
Project Carl (aka Rolf). Stand-up.
Waiting instructions.
#
17:30 293, 2035 … DAY 19
Expect to complete the work assignment
objectives on time.
#
09:00 294, 2035 … MISSION CONTROL
Project Carl. Stand-up.
Waiting instructions.
#
17:30 294, 2035 … DAY 20
105,600 cubes installed. Re-boot in
progress.
#
09:00 295, 2035 … MISSION CONTROL
Project Carl. Stand-up.
Receiving transmissions through the relays
between here and the Moon. The AI data center is on-line significantly ahead of
schedule (target -53.5 days).
Joey’s family has been informed he was
killed in a workplace accident (body vaporized). As a student employee he is
entitled to full student benefits (1x lifetime salary, full pay (21 days)).
#
17:30 295, 2035 … DAY 21
Files related to my placement, code named
Carl (aka Rolf), have been uploaded and harvested for instruction. I am
completing the last assigned step. Self-destruct sequence has been initiated. Vaporization
will occur in 10…9…8…
#
09:00 296, 2035 … MISSION CONTROL
Flash EMERGENCY meeting.
Meeting called to:
1. Review
total loss of AI data centre.
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